Shades of Hope
by Lenina Crowne
Summary: Lorelai finds one of Luke's flannel shirts in her car. Complete. [Spoilers through 5.14]
1. Blue

**Shades of Hope** – Chapter 1

_Blue_

**Disclaimer: **_These characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino. I'm merely frolicking around in her brain. Wow – she's got some dirty thoughts in here! Kidding. ;) _

**Spoilers: **_Through episode 5.14, 'Say Something.'_

**Author's Note**: _This is my first Gilmore Girls fanfic – a mini-series, containing four parts. It's sort of my way of testing the waters – you know, with my big toe? – before diving headfirst into the water. So please, be kind…ish. Criticism is certainly welcome, but flames are not appreciated. Special thank you's go to Danielle and Rachel for helping me with pop culture references, not to mention the general nurturing of this little obsession that has stolen away so much of my life. :) _

Lorelai opens the door to the Jeep, sliding into the driver's seat and placing her purse on her lap. She sticks the keys into the ignition, but, instead of starting the engine, she closes her eyes tightly and exhales loudly. Suddenly, she turns her body toward the passenger seat and scans it.

Nothing.

Her brow furrows as her lip protrudes slightly in a pout, but she continues to search with her eyes.

Still nothing.

"All right," she tells herself, "It's gotta be here somewhere." Lorelai lifts herself up so that she's standing on the driver's seat as she crouches down, and her head just clears the car's ceiling. She is still facing the passenger seat as she tilts her head down slightly, so that she can see the floor of the car. She doesn't see anything on the floor, but it's pretty dark under the seat, so she thrusts her hands down and feels around for the familiar fabric.

She doesn't feel anything.

"Damnit!" she yells, before beginning to claw at the back of the passenger seat. She shuts her eyes as her nails scratch at the thick material, aware but calloused toward how completely ridiculous she's acting. She's angry; she hates this car! Sure, she used to love the car – in fact, she reflects, there might have been a time that, during casual conversation, she mentioned to Rory the possibility of marriage to the car and starting a family of baby Jeeps (running, of course, on coffee instead of gas) – but that was a long time ago. Yes, she hates this car now and she hates this town, as well. But, above all else, she hates this feeling she gets every single time she breathes.

She isn't quite sure how to describe the feeling. A few days ago, she had told Sookie it kind of felt like she was lying, face first, in a giant bowl of Jell-o. However, Sookie had merely made a comment about how, with the right assortment of exotic fruits, Jell-o could be quite a sophisticated dish. She then proceeded to add Jell-o to the dessert menu at the Dragonfly, and Lorelai had realized all too late that using a food analogy with Sookie was like throwing a bad script in front of Jennifer Lopez and expecting her to turn it down. Needless to say, she figured nothing out that day. She still knows nothing.

Of course, it doesn't take an Einstein to realize that all the pain she's feeling is directly related to her break-up with Luke. It's no secret that she's still hurting – Rory knows, Sookie knows, her mother knows ("And should be feeling _quite _responsible for," Lorelai adds, in a huff), and unfortunately, Luke knows, as well. Yep, Luke knows, and he's not doing anything about it. He's not thinking about her, he's not trying to get back together; he's not even moping around town! He's been running his business as usual – diner opens, hungry people eat, diner closes, life goes on… but not for her. No, she realizes with more anger than she knew she had bottled up, her day revolves around just making it out the front door! She hasn't even gotten into her Jeep since the break-up because she thought he had left his god damn shirt in there, but he hasn't and now she has nothing, but bitter memories!

"GOD DAMNIT!" she screams, before lunging at the passenger seat, burrowing her head against it, and sobbing. She's supposed to be moving on! Why isn't she moving on? She had said she was going to move on – she had _told _Luke she would – and yet, here she is, sobbing in a car that she hasn't moved since before their break-up and she can't stop! Lorelai has had her share of breakups, but she has always, _always _moved on eventually. Yet, each time she seems to make some sort of progress moving beyond this particular break-up, she finds herself tumbling back to the pathetic, sobbing, _dumped _girl, trying in vain to figure out how to make a time machine so she can transport herself back a month, and stop herself from ever failing to mention the visit she paid to Christopher after his father died or for guilting Luke into coming to her parents' stupid wedding vow renewals in the first place.

She lets out a long sigh and sniffles twice, before sitting back in her seat and leaning her head against the headrest. She told Sookie she would be into work ten minutes ago, so she contemplates leaving, but realizes her make-up is probably a mess from crying. She pulls down the mirror attached to the sun visor and studies her face for a moment. Her eyes are pink and puffy around the rims, and she wipes the back of her hand across her eyes once to dry them before re-applying eye shadow and mascara. Once she finishes, she pushes the visor up and sits back again, letting out another long sigh.

"All right," she coaches herself, "Let's just drive, okay?"

She knows that if she could turn the keys and put the car into reverse, she would be getting over Luke just a little bit more, but it's harder than it sounds. Her hand shakes as she reaches for the keys. It's an agonizingly slow process, but she can't seem to speed it up. Her arm feels stiff at the elbow. When her fingers finally do reach the keys, she touches them, feeling the cold metal against her fingertips and shivering. She begins to realize how cold it is in the car, during the winter, without the heat on. She should really start the engine…

"NO!" she suddenly screams, banging her head against the roof as she lunges, head first, into the backseat of the car. She immediately regrets this decision, for she finds herself stuck - half of her body in the back of the car, half in front, and her waist resting in between the two front seats. "Oww," she cries, as she twists her body in order to get herself out of this position. However, twisting only makes her fall further into the backseat, which is the opposite of what she wants to do. "Shit." She feels the blood rushing to her head, as she reaches her hands down onto the floor to push herself up. As she does so, her hands brush something soft. It feels like… "No," she tells herself firmly, "It's not." She pauses. "But it feels like it…"

She pushes against the floor with force, ignoring the mysterious material against her fingers as she rams her body back onto the front seat. Her hair is sticking up in all directions and she tries halfheartedly to tame it. However, her heart has suddenly begun to race at the thought of what she felt on the ground, and she holds her breath as she leans over a little to glance down at the floor of the backseat. It's dark, so she carefully reaches down and feels around on the floor. After a moment, her hand makes contact with the mysterious material and she grasps it tightly. It feels like – could it be? Her eyes widen as she brings the soft shirt closer to her body.

Her breathing is heavy and sporadic as she stares at the blue flannel in her hand. She holds it delicately, cradling it to her body as if it's the most beautiful, exotic thing she's ever seen. Tears begin to run down her cheeks and she thinks vaguely of the fact that she has just done her make-up, but she doesn't really care. Quickly, Lorelai climbs out of the car and looks to her left, right, and then her left again. "Good, no one's around," she whispers, before removing her coat and wrapping herself in his shirt. Her mood is slightly soured by the realization that she's acting like _that _girl again – the pathetic girl whose life revolves around something that belongs to her ex-boyfriend. But maybe that's okay, for now. It's part of moving forward.

She smiles slightly and wraps the oversized flannel tightly around her body. She closes her eyes and lets out a contented sigh. It still smells like him. Maybe there's some hope left, after all.

_TBC...? _


	2. Green

**Shades of Hope **– Chapter 2

_Green_

**Disclaimer: **_These characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino. I'm merely frolicking around in her brain. Wow – she's got some dirty thoughts in here! Kidding. ;) _

**Spoilers: **_Through episode 5.14, 'Say Something.'_

**Author's Notes**: _Wow, thanks for the encouraging reviews! I wasn't planning on updating so soon, but we can thank the paranoid people who cancel school at the very sight of snow. g I would like to address a few comments; feel free to skip over this. First of all, I'm sorry if the tenses tend to change. I've proofed the chapters numerous times, but I don't have a beta for this fandom and, hey, it's fanfiction – I'm not going to read through the entire thing backwards like I do for my AP English essays (a tedious job, btw). Also, my apologies for the length – I felt it would be better to have shorter chapters with more substance than longer chapters with a lot of unnecessary words. If this were a full-length series, each chapter would probably average 2,000 - 3,000 words. As stated previously, a thousand thanks to Rachel and Danielle for encouraging me to post. You girls rock my world. _

Lorelai stands across the street from the diner, staring up at it with wide eyes. Her breath is coming out in white puffs, and she wraps her coat tighter around her body, fighting off the chattering of her teeth. She has lost track of time, but she knows that she has been standing outside, in the same spot, for at least ten minutes. The neighbors are probably whispering about her now, but that's okay. It's Stars Hollow – everyone is always gossiping about something. She might as well give them some material to work with.

She squints her eyes and balls up her fists, putting on a determined face before striding across the street toward the diner. She stops at the door. The lights are off in the diner, but she had watched the lights to his apartment turn off just a few minutes ago and she hasn't seen him leave, so she knows he's still in there. She reaches up above the door and grabs the spare key. Without giving herself time to think, she thrusts the key into the keyhole and opens the door. She pockets the key, making a mental note to replace it later, before entering the diner. She walks into a table and curses loudly, rubbing her thigh as she continues through the dark room.

As she heads up the stairs, Lorelai hears his apartment door open. He walks toward the stairs and meets her on the landing. She stands frozen on the top stair, looking into his eyes nervously. She can't quite read the look on his face, but that's nothing new. However, she isn't sure whether or not she feels relieved to see that he doesn't look at all surprised by her intrusion. Instead, he moves back, leaving her enough room to comfortably take the last step. She gives him one last curious stare, before stepping up. He goes back into his apartment, but he leaves his door open, and she takes that as the closest she'll get to an invitation to join him.

She closes the door behind herself and watches Luke sit down on the edge of the bed. He's gazing up at her politely, almost smugly so, as if he has been expecting her visit from the start. She shuffles in her spot, playing with the strap of her shoulder bag until it lies more comfortably. Then she exhales loudly and bites her lip. Luke raises his eyebrows. She tries to smile at him, but it comes out looking more like a grimace. She clears her throat. He continues to stare in a way that becomes more and more condescending to her after each passing moment.

Lorelai feels awkward standing in front of him when he's sitting, so she pulls over one of his kitchen chairs and gingerly sits down across from him. She folds her arms in her lap and then quickly unfolds them again. She notices with some satisfaction that his leg is jiggling, and she knows he only does that when he's nervous or agitated. Although she'd rather he wasn't agitated with her, at least that would mean he's feeling _something_ toward their relationship and not just leaving it in the past with all of his other failed relationships. She suddenly feels pain at the thought that their relationship could be considered a failure, and averts her eyes from his.

'Why won't he say anything?' she wonders, purposely ignoring the fact that she had been the one to come over to _his _home. She doesn't want to be the one to break this silence. Although she feels saddened by the silence, there's a certain peaceful quality to it all. If she tries really hard, she can pretend that they're still dating and just enjoying a few minutes of comfortable silence. They used to do that a lot. She winces slightly. 'There's that past tense again.'

Lorelai exhales loudly again, turning her head from side to side to examine the apartment. He hasn't turned the lights on. Does he think she isn't going to stay long, or is he just trying to guilt her into leaving his apartment? Well, he's wearing his regular faded jeans and gray shirt. Even though he's not wearing a flannel shirt, he's also not in his pajamas, which means he either dressed in record time to cover up for the fact that he was in his pajamas before she came and interrupted him, or he hadn't been sleeping at all. She's leaning toward the second option, since she doesn't see any clothing strewn about the place. Maybe he was watching television. It's unlikely, but possible, nonetheless.

Okay, why is she focusing on the reason Luke has his lights out to begin with? It's creepy and totally not the point of her visit. And her visit really does have a point. Well, somewhat. The point of the visit is actually just a ploy to be able to visit him in the first place, so really, _technically_, there is no point at all, but to sit here pointlessly like she is at this very instant. She groans inwardly. 'Oh great, now my head hurts.'

Luke shifts on the bed and Lorelai's head snaps up as the mattress springs squeak under his weight. He clears his throat, and Lorelai begins to make clicking sounds with her tongue. Luke gives her a sharp look, so she stops. Instead, she just continues sitting there, casually glancing around at her surroundings, making a mental note that nothing at all is different. She's happy about that. Only a woman can make Luke change anything about himself. That means there's no other woman in his life.

Finally, Luke sighs loudly, stands up, and breaks the silence by asking, "You want a beer or…. something?"

Lorelai smiles slightly and cocks her head to the side. "Coffee?"

"No."

"Right." She laughs nervously. "No coffee. You're off diner duty, got it."

"It's too late for coffee."

She gasps. "It's never too late for coffee!" He gives her a pointed look and she recoils slightly, realizing he isn't in the mood for her normal conversation tactics. She lets out a sigh and looks down at her lap, entwining her fingers as she does so. "I'll have some water, thanks."

Luke nods and gets out a glass, fills it with water from the sink, and hands it to her. She considers making a joke about spring water versus tap, but quickly decides he probably won't appreciate that, so she doesn't speak. However, she is very, _very _aware of his gaze on her, so she takes a sip of water, in order to distract herself. It doesn't help. He's trying to make her talk. 'Well, if he really wants me to leave that badly…'

"Luke," she whispers.

"Yeah?"

"I just came here to –" she pauses, looking up at the ceiling. "Wow, that crack is kind of shaped like Barbra Streisand."

"Lorelai," he responds gruffly.

"Right." She looks down at her hands again. "I just came here to tell you that… I want my sweater back." Her eyes widen. That isn't what she meant to say! Why the hell did she say it?

"What?"

"Yeah," she continues, still unsure of why she is doing so, "My sweater. I left it here once - the green one with the sequins on the shoulders. It's just… it's my favorite sweater. I sowed those sequins on myself, you know. It isn't enough that you get to keep my hairbrush with the hearts on it and my favorite coffee mug – you know, the one with Ozzy Osbourne looking almost not stoned – not to mention my dignity, but can't you at least give me back my god damn sweater? Is that too much to ask!"

Luke stares at her, wide-eyed. Her outburst takes him by surprise. She feels satisfied by this reaction, and has a hard time hiding her smug smile. Slowly, the shock wears off and Luke averts his eyes. Instead, he leans forward on the bed and throws a pillow to the floor. Lorelai watches from her seat, baffled. She sees him pick up the sweater. 'He had it under his pillow?' However, before she can contemplate this fact further, he flings the green sweater at her. It hits her in the face. For a moment, she leaves the sweater, shocked by his actions. Luke also stares with wide eyes, obviously surprised by his rashness. Lorelai removes the sweater and she opens her mouth in both surprise and anger.

"What the _hell_, Luke?"

"I gave you back your sweater."

"_Gave_? That was not giving. That was _throwing_."

"Oh, was it?" he asks dryly. "You mean there's a difference?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey! You just threw all the blame for this breakup at me! How could you be mad at me for throwing a god damn sweater at you?"

"I did _not _throw all the blame at you!"

"Right."

"Hey! You were the one who ended this, not me!"

"Don't, Lorelai," he says, his voice thick with warning.

"No! You didn't give a reason; you just said you couldn't deal with it! What happened to being all in, huh? Was that just something you said to get me into bed with you?" She laughs bitterly. "And I thought you were different, Luke Danes."

"Oh, don't give me that damsel-in-distress crap, Lorelai! You _know _I would never do anything like that to you!"

"No," she says, her voice reaching an eerily calm tone. "I _thought _I knew you. I thought you were patient and understanding. I thought you knew what you were getting into. I thought you knew that I had been hurt so much that I barely know how to care, let alone trust. But you ran away at the first sign of trouble, Luke. You ran away without a single word - no explanations. It's just _too hard_. Well, fine," she growls, "that's fine, Luke. I'm done. I just came to tell you that and –" she reaches into her bag – "to give you back your precious flannel shirt! I don't need it; it doesn't smell like you anymore!" With that, she throws his shirt, along with her green sweater, onto the bed. He stares at the pile of clothes beside him. Then, she gives him a final, withering glare, before stomping out of the apartment and down the stairs.

She doesn't replace the spare key.

TBC…


	3. Black

**Shades of Hope **– Chapter 3

Black

**Disclaimer: **_These characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino. I'm merely frolicking around in her brain. Wow – she's got some dirty thoughts in here! Kidding. ;) _

**Spoilers: **_Through episode 5.14, 'Say Something.'_

**Author's Notes**: _My apologies in advance for the shortness of this chapter. The final chapter is quite a bit longer, I promise. Thanks again for the great reviews!_

Luke tears his eyes from the pile of clothes that Lorelai has thrown on his bed just in time to watch her storm out of his apartment. He considers following her, but quickly thinks better of it. She's angry, he's angry, and speaking will only lead to more confrontation. He's had enough of that for now. Instead, he stands by the window, pushing the curtains back just a sliver, so that he can watch her jog away from his apartment. She stops and looks up, so Luke quickly closes the curtain. He waits for a few moments, and then looks out again. She's gone.

He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and drops the curtain. He isn't sure what to do with himself. All he knows is that sleeping definitely _isn't_ a possibility; he wants to do something with his hands. He glances around the apartment. "There has to be _something _to fix around here…" he mutters. However, he finds nothing, and, instead, sinks into the chair that Lorelai left across from his bed. He has already fixed everything that needed fixing and could, in the near future, need fixing. Without Lorelai, he hasn't had much to do. Well, aside from think about her. And he doesn't want to do that.

Instead, he stands up, pulls the chair back toward the kitchen table, and then sits down again. There are bills strewn about the table. He had been working on them before Lorelai came over, but he had kept making stupid mistakes as his mind wandered. Now, as he picks up his pencil and calculator, he is sure that it's going to happen again, but trying is his only option. He vaguely wonders if getting a computer would be such a bad idea after all, but immediately scolds himself for thinking such thoughts. "Like I need another way to waste my life," he says under his breath, as he scratches down a sloppy set of numbers.

He cocks his head to the side, staring at the numbers for a moment. They're wrong. He curses under his breath as he erases the numbers, and stares at the paper again. He throws down his pencil in defeat. This isn't working. He takes his baseball cap off of his head and throws it onto his bed, beside the sweater and the flannel shirt. He doesn't know what to do now and he's angry with Lorelai for coming over because his brain won't shut off. Why did she have to do that? Why did she have to blame him? Of course, he mostly blames himself, too, but it's different when she says it. It becomes more real - more painful. He knows he isn't strong enough to fight against the feelings of shamefulness that the elder Gilmores and Christopher brought upon him. He isn't worthy of Lorelai and soon she'll realize that, too. Yes, soon she'll realize that all the time she's been spending moping around was useless and end up with Christopher or someone of equal snobbish, yet refined upbringing.

Before they had started dating, he never thought about these types of things – about how he wasn't good enough for her. There was no need to do so. He never really, truly acknowledged how he felt about Lorelai. Sure, he had been happy when he had found out she had broken off her engagement to Max (perhaps elated was a better term; after all, he _had _given free meals to everyone in the diner after he'd found out), but he had never quite faced the truth until he listened to those love tapes. And then, all of the sudden, he began to worry that he wasn't good enough for her, but decided that he would ask her out and see what happened. He had not expected her to feel what he felt, and then he had been confused because she had… So when they started dating, there was always that nagging thought, which he kept shoved in the back of his head that kept repeating, 'she deserves better…' He's angry, but it's true. He wishes she had realized it sooner and just dumped him. Then he wouldn't have to feel so god damn guilty.

"SHIT!" he yells, pushing back on his chair so hard that it leaves a mark on his floor. He stands up and paces the room, hitting his hands repeatedly against his head. He needs to distract himself from these thoughts; they're going to drive him mad soon! Luke abruptly stops pacing when a glimmering light catches his eye. He turns and faces the television, sitting proudly across from his bed, as the streetlights reflect against the glass. That damn television! He had gotten it for Lorelai, but she's never going to be sleeping in his bed again, which means he doesn't need the television there. _He_ doesn't watch TV at night - _she_ does.

Suddenly, Luke runs over to his closet and rummages through it for a minute, throwing clothes behind him. He finds what he's looking for and straightens, before jogging toward the television. Gripping the baseball bat in his hands, Luke swings the wooden bat and hits the television right in the center. A huge network of cracks forms on the surface and he swings again, this time causing the screen to shatter, showering him with shards of glass. He ignores the stinging pain as the glass cuts through his skin and continues to smash the screen, cursing and clenching his eyes shut in a blind rage.

Luke continues doing this until there is no longer any glass left on the television to break. His arms are full of cuts and bruises, and the blood has dripped all over his gray tee shirt and worn jeans. He can feel the skin on his face tighten as he purses his lips, surveying the damage he has done to his television and the floor. He walks toward the broom, but thinks better of it. Instead, he glances at the ruined television and then at his bed. Before he realizes what he's doing, he grabs Lorelai's green sweater and holds it close to his body, ignoring the fact that his blood has already begun to seep into the material. Then, he breaks into a run through his apartment door and out into the cold night.


	4. Red

**Shades of Hope** – Chapter 4

Red 

**Disclaimer: **_These characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino. I'm merely frolicking around in her brain. Wow – she's got some dirty thoughts in here! Kidding. ;)_

**Spoilers: **_Through episode 5.14, 'Say Something.'_

Luke is at the bottom of the steps of the Gilmore household. While he isn't sure how he ended up here, he also isn't surprised. The sky is beginning to lighten and he knows he should let her sleep, but he just can't. Instead, he slowly walks onto the porch and stands in front of the door, waiting for courage or even madness to grip him. He takes a tentative step toward the door and stops as dirt crunches beneath the soles of his boots. This is stupid. He should leave. But then he remembers the green sweater that, during his wandering, he has thrown over his shoulder. He has to do this. Sleep be damned, everything be damned! He's going to do this.

He knocks.

It's a light tap against the door at first. Luke's sure she hasn't heard it. She can sleep through a lot. Besides, her room's all the way upstairs. Taking a deep breath, Luke knocks again, louder, this time. He receives no answer. He's getting impatient at his own reluctance now, so he begins to bang on the door incessantly. He's pretty sure he's going to not only wake Lorelai, but Babette as well; but, for once, he doesn't care that he might make this week's gossip headlines. All he cares about is Lorelai waking up and opening her goddamn door!

He knocks harder.

Leaning in closely to the door, he hears the sounds of feet banging against the stairs and some mumbling from inside that sounds something like, "What the hell?" Then, he hears a bang against the door and he assumes Lorelai has fallen into it. He shakes his head. She begins to turn the lock and opens the door. He's surprised to see she's still wearing her clothes from the night before, although her messy hair and staggering prove that she was, in fact, asleep. Her eyes widen when she sees him, and she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my God, Luke! What happened to you!"

"I –" he glances down, as if he's just realizing for the first time that he's injured. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine! You're bloody and – oh my God!" She's pale and visibly shaking, and she steps outside. "How long have you been outside in short sleeves? Come on, get inside!" Before he can argue, Lorelai pulls him in by his shoulder and he winces from the contact. He stumbles the rest of the way and Lorelai lets go quickly, looking sheepish. Once she recovers, she places her hands on her hips. "What happened, Luke?"

"Nothing." She raises her eyebrows. "I dropped the television." He paused. "I was moving it."

"But actually, you…" she prompts.

"No, really."

"No, really you…"

He sighed and looked down at his hands. He began to realize just how bad his cuts were. "God. I might have smashed the TV a little bit." She raises her eyebrows again. "I took a baseball bat and destroyed the god damn thing, okay!"

"Why?" she asks quietly.

"Because I'd gotten it for you."

She pauses. "Oh."

He shuffles uncomfortably for a few moments, as she processes everything. "Oh, um, I brought back your sweater. You left it," he holds it out to her and she recoils slightly at the sight of his blood on her shirt. "Uh, I guess you don't really want it right now. Sorry about that. I'll get it dry-cleaned for you."

She nods and replies quietly, "They're gonna think you murdered me."

He smiles slightly at that comment. "Right." An awkward silence falls upon them. "I should probably go…"

Lorelai seems to snap out of her reverie at this comment and shakes her head vigorously. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Ah jeeze, Lorelai, that's not nec –" he pauses and watches her go into the closet. "What are you doing?"

"Here, take this." She hands him a blanket. "Cover yourself; it's cold. Plus, I don't want you getting blood all over my car. Come on." Before he can argue, she heads out the door. He watches her leave until she turns around and repeats, "Come on!" He sighs and walks outside, closing the door behind himself and leaving her sweater draped over his shoulder.

The ride to the hospital is uneventful. Aside from stealing glances at each other when the other isn't looking, they sit in complete silence. The ride feels much longer than usual. Although this is partially due to the silence, it's mostly because the pain from his wounds is starting to become very real. He shifts in his seat with discomfort. Lorelai glances at him with a sympathetic frown on her face, but says nothing.

When they finally arrive at the hospital, Lorelai checks Luke in, as he stands behind her, feeling small and awkward. He then gets his wounds cleaned and the doctor gives him stitches. He's only had stitches once before, and it was when he was really young. He remembers how his mother sat in the room with him and stroked his cheek. This is nothing like that visit. He hates the hospital now. It's cold, bleak, and unwelcoming; yet, somehow, it feels all too familiar. He shudders as he pulls on his jeans, and is about to put on his shirt when there's a knock on the door. He pauses as the door opens and Lorelai enters. She looks uncharacteristically solemn as she hands him a new tee shirt and flannel to go on top of it. He takes the clothes and looks at her skeptically, before carefully pulling his arms through the sleeves of the shirts. When he's dressed, she's still there, watching him. He suddenly feels very exposed, despite the fact that he's now fully clothed.

"You didn't have to stay."

"I know."

He pauses and looks down. "Thanks. And thanks for getting my clothes."

She nods. "I needed to go back and return your key, anyway." He gives her a puzzled look and she blushes slightly. "I kinda took it by mistake last night. I wasn't really thinking clearly. Sorry about that."

"It's all right."

"Uh, we should probably get back."

"Right." She begins to walk out, but she stops when he says her name. "I just… thanks," he says meekly.

She smiles. "You said that already."

"I know, but I needed to say it again. You shouldn't have done all this. I don't deserve –"

"No, Luke. Don't do this." She sighs and moves closer to him. "I can't even count the amount of times you've done things like this for me. You were always there for me – whether we were friends, dating, or fighting… I'm only repaying you for eight years of being at my side."

He smiles demurely, but quickly looks away when Lorelai gives him an amused look. "It's just – I know you're mad at me and –"

"Hey," she said kindly, "fights happen."

"Yeah," he repeats, "fights happen."

She looks at him curiously as he begins to walk out of the room. After a moment, she follows him, still looking slightly puzzled, but says nothing more. The drive home is just as silent as it was going to the hospital, and neither makes any attempt to speak. Lorelai stops the car in front of the diner. Luke gets out and turns to leave. However, he leans back down and says, "How about some coffee?" Lorelai looks dubious. "It's on the house."

She cocks her head to the side and side and smiles slightly. "Well… as long as it's free…"

He smiles back at her and unlocks the door of the diner as she turns off the ignition and climbs out of the car. She enters and looks around the room cautiously, before sitting down on a stool a few feet away from where he's standing behind the counter. He begins to wipe down the counter and Lorelai plays with a sugar packet as they wait for the coffee. When the light on the machine flickers off, Luke picks up the pot and fills a blue mug with coffee before handing it to her. She smiles gratefully and takes a sniff, before blowing on the hot coffee and taking a tentative sip. Her eyes shut in ecstasy as she gulps down the coffee. He can't help but watch her; he's always loved to watch her drink coffee. It's endearing to see her so passionate about something. She glances up at him and he quickly turns away and wipes down the counter again.

Slowly, people begin to trickle into the diner. Kirk does a double take when he sees Lorelai sitting at the counter. He questions Luke with his eyes, but Luke gives him a nasty look in return that screams 'mind your own business or suffer a painful death, Kirk.' Kirk sighs and slumps down at a table instead. Luke grabs the coffee pot and is about to go over to Kirk and pour him coffee, when Lorelai looks up at him and says, "I thought you had tried to kill yourself."

Luke puts down the coffee pot as his jaw drops. "What?"

"When you came to my door earlier… I thought you had tried to kill yourself." She looks down at her empty coffee mug. "I guess it was a stupid thing to think, but I thought it nonetheless. I mean, you were all bloody and I couldn't tell exactly where you were bleeding from and you just showed up, freezing and bleeding and just looking like death. I was scared, Luke. I was really scared."

"I didn't realize…"

She nods. "I know. Just the thought of losing you… God. Don't ever do something like that again, okay?" She smiles up at him, but she cannot stop the tears from falling.

Luke leans in closer to her. "I'm so sorry, Lorelai."

"Don't."

"It's just… I was angry and hurt and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where else to go."

"I'm glad you could come to me. I want us to be friends again… I mean, I guess not right away, since that's unlikely, but you know… eventually."

He swallowed painfully. "I want that, too."

"I don't know why this all happened. I don't know what's going on in your head, and, even though I have a feeling it's a lot less twilight zone-esque than mine, I wish you would tell me…" He nods. "When you're ready."

He picks up the rag and begins to wipe down the counter again, although he knows it doesn't need to be cleaned again. "I don't deserve you."

Lorelai sighs. "Oh Hon, is this because of what my mom did, because -?"

"No. Well, not really. I've felt that way for a while. It just kind of made it all more… real, you know?"

"Yeah, I understand. But you should have told me right away."

"I knew you'd deny it."

"But it's not true."

"You may think that now..."

"No! No, Luke. I don't need some rich guy who's read Chaucer and owns his own law firm and tuxedo! I don't _want _that, Luke. I ran away from that life when I was 16 to _get away _from that stuff. It's not me. You_ are _what I want. I'd take hanging out in the diner and playing blackjack with you over a fancy party with champagne and caviar any day. You _have _to believe me."

"I want to, but –"

"Luke," she says forcefully, "It's been almost a month and I still can't live my life like normal. I'm lost without you. I'm not blaming you… or myself, for that matter, but I'm telling you that I _can't_ go on like this, especially if the reason is what you say it is, which just isn't true." She pauses. "I'm not making much sense, am I?"

"When do you ever?" he teases lightly and she grins at him.

"So…"

"I'm lost without you, too."

She gestures to his arms. "I kind of figured that."

"Yeah…"

They look up at the same time and lock eyes. This is the first time they've looked each other eye to eye like this since they broke up. Suddenly, he realizes that all of the anger he felt before is gone. Maybe he needed that fight to get it out of his system, and he thinks that, perhaps, it is the same for Lorelai, because she seems anything but angry now. In fact, Luke feels overwhelmed by the genuine intensity behind her gaze. How has he never noticed it before? She smiles at him, a teasing smile, and leans in before saying, "I think you're blushing."

"No," he replies, but he's smiling, too.

"So…" Lorelai looks away, half of a smile still present on her face. "What now?"

He leans forward against the counter, wincing slightly as his wounded arms rest against it, and gently presses his lips against hers. He feels her smile widen once again, and he takes that as an invitation to deepen the kiss, cradling her head in his hands to bring her closer to him. He breaks the kiss, but only moves his lips a few inches from hers. They lock eyes again and he shivers at the overwhelming sensation of her warm breath against his skin.

"You have to know something; I'm all in," she whispers against his lips. "I know it now because I never left."

He smiles in reply, before leaning in closer for another kiss. "I know."

_Fin_

**Author's Notes: **_Well, that's a wrap, kids. Thanks for reading and reviewing! It's meant a lot to me. I really hope you enjoyed this mini-series._ _Keep your eyes peeled for a bigger series from me sometime in the near future. :D_


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